Category: Uncategorized

Happy Birthday I am supposed to be happy, you know, to celebrate the birthday of someone you dear so much. I am crying instead, I feel that I am loosing him the more day. I want him to know that I love him so much, no matter what he'd done or no matter how bad he is. I love him just the way he is. I miss him terribly. So my dearest one, on your birthday, I wish you a great life, a great

Hari Minggu kemaren adalah home concert pertamaku bersama tempat les pianoku. Tempatnya di Wisata Makanan JaCC (Jakarta City Center). Sesuai namanya, Wisata Makanan itu adalah sebuah food court. Isinya fully makanan Indonesia, nyari kentang goring aja gak ada, tapi kalo nyari ikan dabu-dabu banyak.

Aku kebagian main 2 lagu. Kebetulan 2 lagu itu adalah lagu pertama dan lagu terakhir dari konser itu (kalo lagunya kang Purwacaraka gak diitung ya). Yang pertama adalah Can’t Help Falling in Love. Lagu ini dimainkan bersama dengan 7 pemain biola muda (kecuali mas-mas gurunya). Hihi… seru juga sih… hanya latian bareng 2 kali. Harusnya 3 kali, tapi yang pertama itu aku gak bisa karena urusan kantor.

Yang kedua adalah Winter Games-nya David Foster. Lagu ini aku udah lama belajarnya, tapi gak pernah serius. Baru kemaren aja dipersiapkan bener-bener, 1 ½ minggu sajah. Harusnya 2 ½ minggu, tapi aku sempet seminggu gak di Jakarta.

Gimana hasilnya? Lagu pertama bisa ditampilkan dengan lumayan memuaskan, tanpa halangan berarti. Tapi sebelum lagu kedua, aku terserang demam panggung. Itu demam panggung yang PERTAMA, setelah 20 tahun enggak pernah tauk yang namanya demam panggung, maklum deh... kalo anak kecil justru gak kenal yang namanya demam panggung, jadi waktu kecil malahan santai-santai ajah, terus kebawa sampe kuliah juga santai aja. Malahan kalo udah kena lampu panggung, jadi semakin centil, apalagi kalo udah malem... wuuaa...

Heran juga, kok bisa yah... padahal bulan Juli aku kan abis main di temu alumni, biasa-biasa aja tuh. Mules dikit sih, tapi karena makan makanan aneh. Waktu itu 1 lagu doang sih emang... tapi tetep aja judulnya main, setelah 5 tahun gak main piano di depan publik (sebelum temu alumni itu, seingatku terakhir main piano di depan umum adalah waktu main Mars ITB di wisudaanku).

Asik juga sih... ngeliat anak-anak kecil pada main piano, biola, dan gitar. Ada anak les gitar yang badannya kecil banget, gitarnya aja kurang dari ½ tinggi badannya. Pas mau makan, megang sendok aja belum bener, tapi dia dah main ensemble gitar sama temen-temennya yang jauh lebih gede. Anak-anak piano ada beberapa yang belum bisa ”nginjek tanah” karena tinggi badan belum mencukupi.

Terakhir... aku dapet memento nih... ceritanya penghargaan sebagai peraih nilai ujian piano pop terbaik. Lumayan buat dipajang di atas piano. Selain itu dapat tas les lagi, buku notes, dan diskon 50% dari ILP.

Wakakak... agak-agak malu juga bok... ntar jangan-jangan bapak-bapak dan ibu-ibu para ortu siswa lainnya mikir gini lagih: ”Yah... pantesan aja dia nilainya paling tinggi, wong udah tua gitu!!”.... hihihi... apalagi misalkan mereka tanya: ”Udah berapa tahun belajar piano mbak?”. 20 tahun tante... wuakakakak... kalo 20 tahun harusnya udah jadi kayak Nial Djuliarso yak?? Tapi ini masih begini-begini ajah nih... masih untung gak jalan di tempat.

Hmmm... kalo murid piano yang ikut pertunjukan, kayaknya paling tua (selain aku) anak SMU deh... jadi malu deh. Untung aja aku agak-agak kurus kering, jadi anak-anak SMA itu ada yang badannya lebih ”jadi” dari aku, hehehe... lumayan lah... untuk menyembunyikan umurku yang sebenernya...

It helps to know that everyone of us has their own story to tell and those stories are rarely smooth sailing drama that leads to a happy ending. My story with him continue to unfold as a pseudo affair that may not even substantiate even with him giving up his commitment. At least, that’s what I believe. But the more I spend time with him, the more I feel connected and comforted and the more I rely on the security of having him beside me for always. Last nite, we had another late rendezvous walking in the part of campus I’ve never once thought of exploring. And it was beautiful. The landscape of the campus from 100 m away. Makes you feel detached from the rest of the world. Sharing stories and memories that are priceless. Looking up at the stars, lying on the damp grass - which made me ended up catching a fever the following day. It was peaceful. To be with him and share moments of conversation without the intensity of physical flirting or any sort that usually creates tension and dilemma. Just 2 people sharing a warm conversation in the mute area of campus. As simple as that. We ended up having his car parked in front of my apt building listening to songs on the radio and singing along with it and goofing around with silly jokes.

He was intelligent, compassionate and a sight for sore eyes. I wish there were more guys like that in this world, so that I don’t have to share them with anyone else. That night, he was peaceful, unlike any other nights or afternoon I have spent with him. He seems to know where he wants to go in life, if not vaugely. You can feel a strong aura from his mere presence. I sat there, weak, unsure of myself and dilemmatic, not to mention holding back the urge to reach out to him. He hugged me and there were moments where we almost want to forget about everything else and just be. But my conscience was a hard as a steel and I could only hold back. He was special. Although he wasn’t mine. I guess I could only cherish these moments in my memories.. since it will not last.. Au revoir, beautiful one.. perhaps one day our roads will cross again..

It helps to know that everyone of us has their own story to tell and those stories are rarely smooth sailing drama that leads to a happy ending. My story with him continue to unfold as a pseudo affair that...